I’m no expert on love.
I can’t become a professor of love and give you
detailed power points on the definitive meanings.
I can’t give you the textbook answers and highlight
paragraphs that can make the immense feeling make sense.
I just know that it feels like the forgotten sun.
Like when the sun comes out and warms your bones,
a shield melting around your heart.
Like when you wake up in the morning with a smile instead
of lonely tears.
A giant breath of crisp air
Air that flows through your lungs cold
and comes out hot.
Air that is so light, you feel like you are flying.
Love comes when you stop searching for it.
When you stop looking in every treetop
and down every rabbit hole.
When you stop condemning the world for giving
you anything but perfection.
Love finds you when you’ve given up on its very being.
When you’ve reached your wit’s end.
When you’ve begun to believe you don’t even want its gift
Love is also imperfectly beautiful. An anecdote for other people’s poisons. Like there’s someone with the right anecdote in their heart to stop the poison flowing through your veins. But that’s why some relationships don’t work. You both have to have the right anecdote for each other. Otherwise, one person continues to live their lives with poison filling their veins while the other is healing. One grows stronger as you grow weaker. I think that’s why some relationships can end up being so toxic. You don’t realize how weak you are getting because the other person is strongly attached to your heart. They keep you healthy enough where your blood will still be pumping, but your soul will start to die until it becomes no more. You don’t recognize how shaky your hands are getting or how fuzzy the world seems to slowly become. The world feels like it’s caving in, but their body is keeping it from collapsing.
Finding someone that also fights your poison, is a gift. Someone that doesn’t just want to have your heart, but to hold it with such care and protection. Someone who treasures your mind, body, and soul in a way that isn’t degrading but uplifting. With every heartbeat, you both grow stronger together. You hold equal weight. You help the other walk when the world becomes too heavy. They help the crashing waves of anxiety calm in your mind.
I found my love.
I found her when I didn’t expect it. I found her when I STOPPED searching endlessly for someone. She found me when her heart was finally open. When she realized that she still had poison running through her. She become strong after someone made her weak. After someone took almost all of her anecdote, just to push themselves up to the next tier.
There was still some left for me. It’s now a never-ending flow of love and understanding.
Love is always beautiful. The word is often overused in today’s society that it has begun to lose the meaning. True love? Unadulterated and pure love? You don’t find it every day.
I am lucky to have someone that knows what love is.
I am lucky to be alive.
I am lucky to live every day with her.
I’m no expert on love, but if I had to write a book on it
your name would fill all the pages.